He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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