Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
