id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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