that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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