You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
