P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
