I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
