we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and she was petting her beer can
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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