Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize