Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
