If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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