Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
