We won't sleep together?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We have started to decorate penises.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
