i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
