I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
