So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
zippers are such a cool invention
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
