Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
