8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
another moral hangover. fuck.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches