Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
