People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.