i barfeds in our rink
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
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Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.