I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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