Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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