apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize