So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
