maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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