Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
