Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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