Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
