youre lurking in front of me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
