and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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