he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
