I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
