I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
