had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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