Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
