We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
