..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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