No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
