Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
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Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
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so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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