We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
