i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
