Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize