Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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