Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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