those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I cut my penus on the lid.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
