I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
