Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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