Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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