I'm gonna have a badass scar
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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