watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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