I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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