i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
