Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
