Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
