take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
