he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Houston, we have a squirter
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
