I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
