You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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