she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
