I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
