either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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