Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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